The most progressive person in your circle—the one who donates to abortion funds, reads The Cut, and only buys fair-trade—hates Amber Heard. Almost a year after the jury ruled in Depp’s favor in Virginia, we’re starting to see how the crucifixion of Amber Heard has empowered other abusers into silencing their victims. Heard’s dehumanization started, as it usually does, with a man more powerful than her.
“If you didn’t take pictures, it didn’t happen; if you did take pictures, they’re fake,” he said. “If you didn’t tell your friends, you’re lying; and if you did tell your friends, they’re part of the hoax. If you didn’t seek medical treatment, you weren’t injured; if you did seek medical treatment, you’re crazy.” — Attorney Benjamin Rottenborn during Depp v. Heard in 2023
Actress Amber Heard married Johnny Depp in 2015. In 2016, Heard filed for divorce and a temporary restraining order, citing that he had been “physically and emotionally” abusive to her throughout their marriage. Per evidence submitted in court in the UK and Virginia, Heard had more evidence of domestic abuse than most women who come forward. From eyewitnesses to text messages to Depp’s own admission, in a just world, there should have been no question to whether she sustained physical and emotional damages in her relationship. Following Depp. v Heard, it was Depp’s own fans spent thousands of dollars unsealing court documents, only to have accidentally shed more light on the actor’s abusive behavior.
We can go on and on about the proof Heard had—but what did it matter, when the public opinion had already been swayed by money and legacy? The Daily Wire wasn’t the only platform that profited from anti-Heard content. Creators on Tik Tok and YouTube made thousands of dollars from bashing Heard and forums belonging to anti-feminist, Tate-pilled, men’s rights activists went into overdrive. But it wasn’t just the extremists who bought into this narrative damning Heard as a contrived, sociopathic liar. It was also the moderates. It was the people who are, by all accounts, intelligent and informed.
In 2022, everything we believed to be true about (allegedly) living in a post #MeToo society collapsed, revealing that the foundation of our culture—one that never truly believed victims—is still one that protects abusive men.
Nuance is lost in the digital age. Depp’s narrative, the one played out on social media and in the media, is a familiar one. Heard is cast as the attractive, sexual, young ex-wife who—emboldened by the Hollywood elite—spun a fantastical tale of abuse to ruin Depp’s reputation and get financial gain. Heard as the she-devil delivers the much needed relief to the folks who have been grumbling about cancel culture and the overpolicing of tone in the workplace. If she lied, then all the fuss about sexual harassment were just that: an overreaction. If she lied, then it’ll be a warning to the women who might be tempted to speak out. If she lied, then we can return back to a culture that overlooks gendered power dynamics.
The pendulum always swings back. If bad faith players were concerned about a culture war post-Weinstein and Cosby, then Amber Heard was the bomb they needed to reset the game. And for women, Heard was the violent enemy to progress. A despicable woman is easier to burn on the stake than a man who was once beloved. It’s not lost on me that the character attacks against Heard, used by women as well as men, were plucked straight out of a playbook from the 1600’s.
Accuse a woman of treachery and a village will rise with pitchforks. Because Heard was branded as a liar (despite the mountain of evidence and the Sun case proving otherwise), there was a wayward sense of justice when the internet came for her. In my years reporting on internet culture, this much has always been clear: if there is a cause (true or not), then any behavior can be justified. The accounts sending death threats and people shitting on her yard weren’t trolls; they were defenders of the truth! They had a hill to die on and boosted by this idea she, Heard, was in the wrong, facts became obsolete.
For months, I’ve been asking myself why people I admire (and thought to be reasonable and decent and kind) partook in the global harassment of Amber Heard. When the likes of Andrew Tate and other infamed incels took to mocking Heard, wasn’t that a sign of what side they’re playing for? When did women—who claim to support other women—start using Heard as a punchline in conversation?
It was never about the actual claims, nor the facts. Heard became an archetype that appealed to both already existing violence against women and our own internalized misogyny. When I asked a friend why she didn’t like Amber Heard, they responded with a personal story about Heard where she had been standoffish. It hit then: even if people did believe her, it didn’t matter. All it mattered is that they don’t want to believe her. Amber Heard the manipulative, lying, psychopath had more value in the cultural zeitgeist than Amber Heard, the victim.
The role was cast long before the verdict was confirmed.
In an uncomplicated world, everything is black and right with moral lines clearly drawn. When a woman reports domestic violence, to be believed, she must first be a martyr.
In Hollywood’s whisper network, everyone’s got a story about Amber Heard. She is both formidable as a blonde bombshell and also deeply unlikable (which is the greatest sin a woman can commit) in the way that most successful women are. Perhaps a friend of a friend’s neighbor was an extra on one of her projects and Heard was temperamental. Perhaps someone she went to school with reported her as being attention-seeking. Maybe she was difficult to work with and a bad partner in her previous relationships. I don’t know, I’ve never met her! But when her defamation case was aired for the entire world to see, it became a character testimony instead.
Was Amber Heard a good person?
Who knows. Does it matter if she wasn’t?
When we think about sexual violence and abuse, there’s an underlying question of, “Well, did she deserve it?” I know this because it’s a question I’ve asked myself when I was sexually assaulted. I know this because it’s a question that lawyers and police officers ask when interrogating victims. Maybe if Heard had been asking for it—by being imperfect and unlikable in the court of public opinion—then it would have been okay.
Reactive abuse is a common phenomenon that occurs in abusive relationships. Describe as when a victim lashes out against their abuser, it’s also often used against them when they speak out. When the media portrayed Heard as being equally abusive (or even the sole abuser), none of them cared to listen to the experts and organizations that pointed to Heard having all the signs of reactive abuse.
To accept that abuse is complicated and victims aren’t one-dimensional would mean unpacking our own biases. It does not bode well in our current attention economy that demands there be a clean line drawn from A to Z. Because Heard had a reaction, because she is a sexual being, because she is bisexual, because she had a rumored hostile reputation, because she raised her voice at him, because she wasn’t pristine, because she saw other people, then she couldn’t be a victim.
By that standard, no one can be a victim. Amber Heard didn’t just lose favor in the jury’s eyes; she lost because she could not meet the impossible standards of being a woman who was abused.
To say that there is a tide turning is to possess optimism that I’m running low on. Last November, a number of feminist organizations and leaders signed an open letter condemning the harassment of Amber Heard. EmRata and Julia Fox spoke out in support of Heard on Tik Tok. On Twitter (or what remains of it), there are rumblings of previously devoted Depp stans renouncing their stance now that the court documents have been unsealed and his team is no longer spending copious amounts of money on propaganda.
I do believe that in the next few years, there will be a reckoning a la Britney Spears with Heard. But I also think it will be too late. Marilyn Manson, who is a close friend of Depp’s and whose disturbing text messages have been leaked, is currently suing actress Evan Rachel Woods for defamation, employing the same DARVO (deny, attack, reverse victim, offender) tactic that won Depp his defamation case. Following the arrest of Jonathan Majors this week on alleged assault charges, many are asking who would feel safe speaking out after what was done to Amber Heard?
I wouldn’t.
This might go without saying, but if a conventionally attractive white woman with more evidence and resources than the average woman can’t get justice, then who can? Notably, none of her court cases was ever about the validity of her claims—she simply wanted to be able to say her truth. Instead, she’s been silenced and propped up as a scapegoat for anyone who dares to speak out against their abuser. By the time the masses apologize, the damages will have already been done.
Someone I used to know went viral on Tik Tok for using a trending audio clip of Heard’s deposition. As a survivor of sexual abuse, that period of the Depp v. Heard trial was particularly hellish to endure. It was an online spectator sport with Depp’s side going for the jugular. Google said that Amber Heard was the most searched celebrity of the year and the majority of the trial was watched through cherrypicked clips on social media.
Most women I speak to—particularly those who have been in an abusive relationship—feel bleak about the future of victims. It took me years to tell a therapist, under patient confidentiality, what had happened to me. There are still parts of my life that I have never told anyone about, apprehensive about who will believe me and who won’t.
Heard took the stand in front of millions. She became content foddler instead. I don’t know Heard personally, but I do know that we (and by we, I mean the general public and our sham of a justice system) have deeply failed her and other women like her. Until we truly re-examine our ideas of victimhood, domestic abuse, and targeted online harassment, I fear Amber Heard was just the start.